Newsgroups: talk.bizarre From: rone@netcom.com (suicide king) Subject: Warm puppies Message-ID: References: Date: Thu, 28 Sep 1995 07:25:18 GMT In article , M. Legare wrote: >Now, I subscribe to the idea that if you can't solve it, you mock it until >it's not important enough to worry about. That's what I do, and that's one >of the reasons why I am so Goddam Optimistic. Yep. Optimistic, >Pronoiac[1], and pretty damn hard to depress. I SOLVE PROBLEMS for a >living, BY PHONE. I MAKE things and give them to people to MAKE THEM >HAPPY. I CAUSE LAUGHTER and WONDER in my spare time. When I'm tired, I >SLEEP IN AN ENTERTAINING MANNER. I ADMIT my shortcomings and people LOVE >ME FOR IT. MULTITUDES emulate me - I am known to THOUSANDS, if not >MILLIONS, who want to be LIKE me after hearing tales told of my feats of >JOY. My MILEAGE is GREAT! MY SIDING does NOT LEAK! My life has >consistantly FAILED to SUCK since 1988! I LIVE to UPLIFT! I compliment >EVERYTHING, even when I am COMPLAINING! I see ALL the sides of the issue >and LOVE IT! YAAAH! And being the Happy Clown PLEASES you? Does it fulfill your life, to be the one who wows and entertains and lightens the spirits of those around you? To be the person who exudes MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF JOY at the merest whim of the Cabal? Am i to understand that, by being a helpful and cheery man, and aiding those in need of advice, you are enhancing the quality of life on this planet as we know it? That your felicity is something of wonder and miracle that MUST BE SHARED? Well, _that_ felt good to ask, even if i'm sure the answer is "yes". Anyhow, it boils down to the fact that happiness is seldom interesting if it's not yours. However, if you or anyone else who is happy cares to share it with us in a germane and urbane manner, who am i to complain? To those of us who subscribe to the Denis Leary theory of happiness, however, it seldoms lasts long enough to be worthy of mention. This leads to my own theory of "emotional gravity". Your soul is a bird which lives on your soul, which is a sphere-like object with a definite spiritual mass, and as such, attracts other spirits and assorted karmic debris, such as past lives, "urges", and luck. Luck, for example, would be akin to a comet, which only passes by so often. If it's a good luck, you get a pretty show; if it's a bad luck, your soul passes through its toxic tail and gets nasty fumes and stuff. But i digress. Your emotions are like the flight pattern of the bird; it doesn't always fly high, but when it does, you're on top of the world (okay, bad pun, but you know what i meant). But gravity will always force the bird down to a less taxing altitude, where it is easier to glide along. Sometimes you hit thermals, which give you a boost; but otherwise, it's just gravity's downward pull. This is why it's so hard to get out of a bad funk; you're just stuck, man. If you want to leave the tree, you have to beat your wings and go. I guess it's hard to just get those wings moving sometimes when you're worried about falling out of the tree. 5150 "tongue-tied and twisted, just an earthbound misfit, i" -- Sometimes I wonder why we women even bother [with you men]. I mean, sheesh, you're never around when you're wanted and you don't even vibrate. Sort of like certain Microsoft products: you may not be the best out there, but you've become the de facto standard. - Samantha Wilkinson (sammie@cs.dartmouth.edu)