From paulp@nic.cerf.net Sun Apr 9 21:33:42 PDT 1995 Did somebody say Beckwith? The most endearing name I have ever been called is a "Beckwith scholar", a title I hold with great pride. I wish I'd saved much more of his work -- you never know what you have until it's gone. Here are the Beckwithisms currently in my .quotes file. -PSP # "I merely said, that as far as calculated asshole power goes that you are not of the first rank. Others outrank you in that capacity." -- Andrew Beckwith alt.usenet.kooks # "LOOK, STUPID, MY WIFE IS IN SINGAPORE, CURRENTLY WORKING , AND SHE IS UNDER HER OWN NAME, WHICH IS WHAT CHINESE WOMEN NORMALLY DO!" -- Andrew Beckwith alt.usenet.kooks # "Give yourself a life, Hannigan! I mean, who cares about finding my wife!" -- Andrew Beckwith alt.usenet.kooks # "You need a good talk to for blurting out loud thoughts that normally people think of , for fun, but which do not get into print, dildo!" -- Andrew Beckwith alt.usenet.kooks # "Now, for a few little pieces of de facto history, and contemporary events , to show how raving insane this passage actually is." -- Andrew Beckwith alt.usenet.kooks # "There is much more to this demented post, than this paragraph." -- Andrew Beckwith alt.usenet.kooks # "I will not buldge on this issue." -- Andrew Beckwith alt.usenet.kooks # "Push too hard, and someone will fire back at you via the medium, as I am doing , now!" -- Andrew Beckwith soc.culture.asian.american # "Otherwise, one is going to get lost in an infinite maze of sheer nutball power." -- Andrew Beckwith alt.usenet.kooks # "I would rather go for having a lobotomy , for the jerk. I think that actually when he has part of his brain removed, that he will make more sense than he does, now." -- Andrew Beckwith, soc.culture.usa # "This makes Keegan a fuckwhit of unusual duration, and also of unkillable capacity to bore a stoned dockworker to death." -- Andrew Beckwith alt.flame # "Unintentional humor here. But this is , in its understated way, a scream." -- Andrew Beckwith alt.flame # "Kook of the month implies no evaluation of mental status." -- Andrew Beckwith alt.usenet.kooks # "Now, what kook in internet space would draw such a wild response?" -- Andrew Beckwith alt.usenet.kooks # "That's your way for compensating for being a five foot two semi- dwarf whose main mission in life is to be a stand up comic for homeless vagabonds!" -- Andrew Beckwith, alt.usenet.kooks # "Graham, I do not exist to provide you with jerk off thrills." -- Andrew Beckwith alt.usenet.kooks # "Your post is more proof, if one needed it, that some people , like you, are too stupid to chew gum, and walk at the same time!" -- Andrew Beckwith alt.usenet.kooks # "I for the life of me cannot understand why some men with the I.Q. of retarded golphers fixate upon ONE aspect of a woman's personna [...]" -- Andrew Beckwith alt.sex.fetish.orientals # "The talk groups are meant as a he-haw." -- Andrew Beckwith alt.bigfoot # "binary.pictures.erotica.oriental had some pictures two months ago showing SEXUAL INTERCOURSE between men and women, where there was no doubt as to what was going on! I was absolutely horrified by those pictures, but said nothing." -- Andrew Beckwith, alt.bigfoot # "No problem with that. However, it seems as though a flush of enthu- siasm made a net person drop the big one , on themselves!" -- Andrew Beckwith (original formatting preserved) alt.culture.internet # -- "Larry Wall should be shot. Along with Bill Joy and Eric Allman." -- Daniel Finster, comp.lang.lisp "Why, just because you guys frittered away a 20-year headstart?" -- Larry Wall, comp.lang.perl