Path: netnews.upenn.edu!newsserver.jvnc.net!howland.reston.ans.net!usc!girtab.usc.edu!not-for-mail From: echeverr@scf.usc.edu (5150) Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Subject: Ignorance Is Bliss Message-ID: <1riqsjINNk1e@girtab.usc.edu> Date: 27 Apr 93 08:29:07 GMT Sender: rone@girtab.usc.edu Organization: NNTP-Posting-Host: girtab.usc.edu Being intelligent is my curse. It's not that i'm smart. I am. Maybe not as much as i'd want, as sometimes i tend to think too fast to look ahead to possible ramifications and consequences. But being smart is not being intelligent. It's not about common sense. I have plenty, although it's somewhat shallow and perhaps does not go as deep as i think sometimes is necessary. It's not about knowledge, either. I know a lot about some things, and i know some about most things. But that's just bits and pieces. That's data. That's not intelligence. No, i have "potential". That dreaded fucking word. "Ron, you're such an intelligent boy." Wait. "Ron, you're such an intelligent young man." I forget i'm all of 20 and a half now. "Ron, why are you doing so poorly in school?" "Ron, why did you forge that mail? You should definitely know better." "Someone of your capacity should be miles ahead of the rest around you." I always thought i was one intelligent motherfucker. A genius. Well, maybe not a true genius, but damn well up there. But that was all high school, biggest fucking joke ever thought up by some loser parent with a problem child. High school was a fucking no-brainer. I spent my brainpower wondering about me, about my philosophy towards life and towards society, and, therefore, towards man. I wondered about my sexual preference, and if it was only an eccentric hormonal phase. I wondered if there really was a god and if the existing excuses were good enough for someone with the IQ of, say, a hamster. Key people corroborated my acute intelligence to me (no, my parents don't count). My favorite teacher (who was also one brainy motherfucker). The high school valedictorian. Two of my girlfriends. Then i came to college. Oh what a fucking disafuckingppointment. Here i am in the city i was born in, musing to myself that maybe i was closing some big fucking mystical circle. Returning to my roots, etc. blah blah fucking blah. Yeah fucking right. I start out and my grades sucked. I was a little annoyed... "hey, this shit is easy, i should do better, `sides, gotta keep the gpa up for dat scholarship" I started doubting my intelligence. I said "Fuck this!", i joined a fraternity and finished with the last shreds of self-respect i had. Yeah fucking yeah but we had a lotta fun gimme some beer fuck me bitch die fag shithead. So i left the Greek scene, started working for real, switched majors. Then i start hearing it again. "Ron, you are one of the brightest students i've had in this class. Ever." "You cause us a lot of trouble, Ron. Why? You are so intelligent, and we enjoy having you here working with us... we don't WANT to fire you... what should we do with you?" "You have such potential, Ron, why are you wasting it"SHUT UP SHUT UP THIS IS NOT WORKING THIS IS NOT FUCKING WORKING. Three years. Someone explain to me how, with all this fucking intelligence, i waste three fucking years, probably what could've been the best three fucking years of my life, in this shithole of South Central L.A. with a GPA at 1.8 and falling like a fucking turd. What the fuck is wrong up there? Hello? Is this brain functioning? Are the parts fucked up? Maybe we didn't upgrade the chassis when we should've. Who cares what should've, what could've. It's over now. I am no longer enrolled in USC. I'm leaving L.A. and the shit i begat from it behind. I'm moving to Florida, hopefully, to begin life and academia anew. When, i don't know. All i know, for sure, and i've known since before all this shit happened, is that i really did want to return to my roots. And i still do. But your roots don't always take ground where you were planted. Sometimes, it takes a little looking before you find fertile soil. 515- no. - Ron