Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Path: chaph.usc.edu!usc!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!decwrl!netcomsv!netcom.com!rone From: rone@netcom.com (5150) Subject: Deadly Sins Message-ID: Summary: your anger is precious. give in to it every month, at least. Keywords: perhaps a tip of the cap to neil gaiman; i'm sure i was subconsciously influenced by the endless Supersedes: Organization: Date: Thu, 9 Dec 1993 07:48:29 GMT "I am FUCKING SERIOUS!" He fumed and raved around the room. "I am FUCKING SICK of being Wrath!" "C'mon, Wrath. It's your job being Wrath. I wish i had your job," said Envy. "Yeah, man, you don't get to do nothin', really... nice, cushy job," yawned Sloth. "You should feel honored. We are unique as Sins. Nothing even approaches our power," mused Pride, staring at his fingernails. "Relax, man. Here, have a donut." Gluttony offered Wrath a french cruller. Wrath took it and threw it across the room. "FUCK THAT NOISE! I've been at it for EONS and now those FUCKING HUMANS avoid me as if i'm some sort of disease. I'm NECESSARY for their existence! We ALL are! But they don't want me anyFUCKINGmore and i'm not going to fucking deal with it! I'll just scram and go look for a fishing hole or something--" "Oh, shut the fuck up, Wrath, and FUCK ME!!!" Lust was all over Wrath, rubbing herself over every square inch of his body. He pushed her aside, annoyed. Vanity was uninterested, worried only about its hairdo. It was its 56th hairdo today. "Let's vote on it," suggested Pride. "NO FUCKING WAY. You'll all vote for me to stay. I'm gone! Ciao!" And he left. And peace came upon Earth, which lasted for centuries until the evil Zygort Empire came and obliterated the human race for their shortsightedness. Wrath never returned. 5150 -- I WANT APPLE PIE AND YOU GIVE ME TWINKIES WITH HOLLANDAISE SAUCE! Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Path: chaph.usc.edu!usc!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!decwrl!decwrl!netcomsv!netcom.com!rone From: rone@netcom.com (5150) Subject: ADDENDUM TO Deadly Sins Message-ID: Organization: Date: Fri, 10 Dec 1993 05:06:55 GMT I forgot Greed, and, grasping at straws, included Vanity. This may mean that i don't think greed is a deadly sin. It may mean i'm a moron, since i should know my sins, especially because i used to be Catholic. It may mean i'm not enough of a geek, as what i did to remember the Sins was remember the virtues in the Ultima games and use the antonym. Extract your conclusions, just DON'T TELL ME ABOUT IT. 5150 or maybe i'm just a talentless sack of shit, and i didn't really forget greed, i just couldn't think of a way to work him in the story. bite me. the lot of you. -- Hours slipping by as you watch the worlds collide Now you're nothing more than another passerby