Path: netcom.com!csus.edu!csusac!zimmer!nic-nac.CSU.net!usc!cs.utexas.edu!news.sprintlink.net!gatech!hookup!news.umbc.edu!haven.umd.edu!brahms.ubalt.edu!news.ubalt.edu!rgriffiths From: rgriffiths@ubmail.ubalt.edu (E Teflon Piano) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: How 2 B Reely Meen (was CyBeRSuiCiDe) Date: 29 May 95 16:42:02 -0500 Organization: Misapplied Psychometry Message-ID: <1995May29.164202.1@ubmail.ubalt.edu> References: <801588257snz@sarsen.demon.co.uk> <3qadff$s7k@cisunix1.dfci.harvard.edu> <3qcm2n$4c5@lastactionhero.rs.itd.umich.edu> <3qcras$hfg_001@netcom.com> In article <3qcras$hfg_001@netcom.com>, lisarea@netcom.com (Elisabeth Higgins) writes: > The good Dr. Higgins spells her name differently according to her whims, > kinda like Shakespeare. Besides, she doesn't need her boytoys to be precise > or even literate. Just cute. And mean. ^^^^ We think the artform of meanness has not been fully explored here. How 2 B REEELY MEEN By Dr. E Teflon Piano 1. Get a co-doctorate in law and karate. 2. Incessantly taunt some rube in rec.arts.poems until he *dares* you to a face-to-face meeting. 3. Go to his town. Stand on the right-of-way in front of his home (we're betting it's in a trailer park) and holler "EAT A BOWL OF FUCK!!!" 4. When the adversary exits his home, smirk at him, and invite him to pick up a weapon (eg. baseball bat) that you have conveniently provided and made available on the right of way. If he hesitates cry, "Chicken, chiiiiicken. Braaaak brak brack." 5. When he reaches for the weapon break his nose with an ax-kick. 6. Make him eat a bowl-o-fuck. 7. Then taunt him because he cannot breathe. 8. Sue him on a battery claim for striking the heel of your foot with his nose. You will win because he has FUCK all over his chin, and judges (not to mention juries) *hate* that. 9. Use the damages award to hire winos to picket his home with signs complaining that he EATS BOWLS OF FUCK. 10. Repeat as necessary. -- E Teflon Piano is a fellow at the Institute of Misapplied Psychometry and founder of the Internet Legal Society.[dibs] Teflon is DuPont Corporation's trade name for poly(tetrafluoroethylene). E is E poly(TFE) Piano Enterprises' tradememe for satire, calculated misstatements and ironic hyperbole.