From wumps@u.washington.edu Tue Feb 15 21:47:36 PST 1994

pgeorge@commerce.otago.ac.nz (Motnahp) writes:
>muttiah@thistle.ecn.purdue.edu (Ranjan S Muttiah) asks:
>>[drivel]
>It is an evolutionary thing - cats have noticed that human beings _mostly_ 
>run to the aid of a crying baby with food, cuddles, e.t.c. .... 

It is said that members of the species homo sapiens are characterized by 
their large brains.  Having large brains allows them to perform more 
complex tasks than do (what they call) lower order mammals.  Like think.  
I am giving you the benefit of the doubt.  I am assuming, perhaps wrongly, 
that you are a homo sapien.  Now I read in the New Yorker that there are 
dogs on the Internet, and that doesn't surprise me -- just look at that 
B1FF fellow -- but whatever you are, I know you're not a cat. 

I am a cat.  And I meow for a simple reason.  That bitch I live with won't 
give me the time of day unless I go out of my way to get her attention. 
Am I acting like a baby?  Hey, I could tell you stories about the jerks 
she goes out with that make it perfectly clear that I am a paragon of 
maturity by comparison.

Now, mind you, meowing does often net me cuddles, about which I am 
ambivalent. She isn't really my type, for one thing.  She has this smooth, 
furless skin that is sort of nasty to touch.  I don't know if you've ever 
seen a Sphynx (furless cat), but she looks kind of like that, only not as 
wrinkly and not quite as damp.  Anyway, she doesn't always cuddle me.  
Sometimes she pets me.  Oh, I'm like any cat, I'd rather get a bath from 
another cat, but it could be worse -- she might lick me with that mushy, 
soggy tongue of hers. Anyway, this is *not* childish behavior.  I mean, 
hey, are you acting like a baby when you get some babe to fondle you?  

Now, as for the feeding thing.  I have to pester her like you wouldn't 
believe to get her to feed me.  Which I guess is OK, since the alternative 
is cockroaches.  But I would like to point out that I do this not because 
I see her as a mother figure but because I know that the food is kept in 
a tin in this cabinet in the kitchen, and I can't get into the tin, because 
I don't have opposable thumbs.  Ditto for getting out of the apartment to 
hunt, not, mind you, that I have any desire to go forth out into the 
crappy neighborhood where she lives.

>However wild cats are not 
>as clever as the domestic animal, to whit - they are doing the work instead 
>of getting some sucker to do it for them. They use the cry to attract lone 
>human beings to where hordes of them wait in a tummy rumbling (wild cat 
>equivalent of a purr) ambush...

Give me a break.  First of all, it's *work* getting her to make sure I'm 
fed.  I was a feral cat until she plucked me out of the woods, took me 
to the vet, got my balls whacked off and my claws yanked and took me to 
her apartment.  Humans just scare off the better-tasting prey.  They're 
worse than raccoons.  We do meet in groups, though, usually at the inter-
section of several territories, but that's just for hanging out, checking 
out the babes, having a few drinks.  We try to congregate near a window 
that has a television behind it if there's a game on.  But that's all 
there is too it.  Besides, humans are no fun to play with when they're 
dying, they're too heavy to drag around, and they smell nasty.  

>     ()_()
>     (o o)           PGEORGE@COMMERCE.OTAGO.AC.NZ
>     =\_/=

There's a mouse in your .sig.  I should have known.

The Wabash Cannonball