Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Path: netcom.com!elvis From: elvis@netcom.com (kEvin) Subject: Re: I am a very white person. Message-ID: References: <3scbei$5uv@math.rutgers.edu> Date: Mon, 26 Jun 1995 05:26:51 GMT In article , Nathan Torkington wrote: >If I don't get at least one deep-dish pizza on my US trip, I will be >forced to consider it a wasted journey and will promptly denounce the >US to all my towel-wearing fundamentalist friends [1]. I hope you're passing through Chicago, because the best deep-dish pizzas are found there. The east coast isn't too bad, but forget about California and the west coast. Curiously, you can find very good pizza up in the Amazonian headlands that Peru and Ecuador have been fighting over. Pizza as we know it independently evolved there from the traditional Italian dish into the fat laden grease fix that Amercans know and love several hundred years before the founding of the US. The native peoples get their cheese from goats and llamas instead of petroleum byproducts, but that doesn't seem to change the taste all that much. And of course, you can't just pick up the phone and order one either. You have to beat out your message on huge drums that echo across the valleys. The messengers are recruited as infants and trained to run like the wind and still keep their steaming cargos warm without tilting them so that the cheese gets all messed up and sticks to the top of the container. Although generally held in low esteem, they are worshipped as gods during the period between the placing of the ceremonial order and the arrival of the platter of joy. Many offer small tidbits or sums of cash to hasten their arrival. The Ecuadoreans seem better attuned to the native soul, since they were able to distract the Peruvians with hundreds of fake anchovy and barbeque sauce deep-dishes while they were mounting their offensive. I think that's why they did so well even though they were outnumbered. kEvin they don't teach the important stuff in schools.