From gnnavtel@gpu.utcc.utoronto.ca Thu Jul 28 14:33:03 PDT 1994 In article <1994Jul27.200224.2681@nlm.nih.gov>, Larry Doering wrote: >L.H.Wood@student.lut.ac.uk writes: >: In article ljy02@festival.ed.ac.uk (L J Yellowlees) writes: >: >L.H.Wood@student.lut.ac.uk writes: >: > >: >>In article <9407221804.26@rmkhome.com> rmk@rmkhome.com (Rick Kelly) writes: >: >>> >: >>Sorry, that's the Welsh, a local underprivileged ethnic minority roughly >: >>equivalent to your Canadians. (Let me preface this by saying I've lived in England, Wales and Canada. Wales is a pretty place, Canada has lots of nice tres and room to breath, and the best thing you can say about England is, it smells like urine) As the sun sets on the last twinkling fragments of British Empire while we all snicker at the worlds most famous dysfunctional family that sit rule over the worlds most dysfunctional country, which apart from being an amazing supply of rotted teeth and oversized ears for genetic experiments not to mention the worlds formost import market for chin implants, houses today's whipping boy: L.H. Wood While their particular brand of pomposity worked pretty well while they oppressed most of the free world, once the natives woke up and killed them like the parasitic vermin they are, their empire rolled back somewhat drastically. Leaving the poor sods in a dark (English electric for you), cold (even if they wern't to bloody cheap to pay for heat, it probably woldn't work anyway) room full of plundered artifacts, sipping bad French cognac (``bloody `ell we `ate those froggies, but they make some damn fine plonk eh, Nigel?''?) mumbling to each other to the din of ``Eh.. Sheldon, ahh'' ``Yes, Reg?'', standing around in bad cloths , ondering what happend to their world. Let us not forget the Roman credo when roaming through England: ``Never take one as a slave, they are far too stupid''. Epitomized in the instantation of L.H. Wood. An ugly little dwarf with teeth rotted worse that your average pommie bastard and a brain to match. Is it any wonder the national pasttime in the UK is GETTING THE FUCK OUT ? Wood's own particular brand of stupidity will probaby cause him to go far in England. Head fry cook perhaps? ``Would you like chips with that and do you know I was once in training as a sattelite engineer.... oh, the sauce is over ther, thank you ... come again'' Is it any wonder that Englands once commonwealth countries now share a common hatred for the vile cesspool of closeted deviants (``Wot, eh ? No, I'm a family man... won't do, won't do, we must protect a decent society... Oh god, once more up the ass with the wire brush Reggie'') The English, epitomized by the Wood thing, rebel: ``Hah! We never wanted `em anyway!'' As they wonder every year, Christ, can things get any worse in this godforsaken country... maybe I can still move to Spain to be with my fellow countrymen... at least we still have moral superiority over Mr. Dago.'' Drool and dream in unison you spineless pus filled lttle fuck. It takes an unusually thick and quite uncoincidentally English skin to hang out so long in places that don't want you: talk.bizarre, usenet, planet earth. The Wood's of this planet will always be with us. But then so will piano wire, and the particlar brand of ecstasy attained by applying one to the other. There will always be an England. There will always be a ring around the bathtub. One day, perhaps, we'll find a remedy for both. >What's the matter, have we stumbled on some sort of dark and bloody secret? >Are you, perhaps, dark-haired and short with a good singing voice? Are your >hands calloused from hauling fishing nets? > >I thought so. Face it, Wood. You're Welsh. Au contraire. He can't write a poem or drink worth a damn. He keeps fucking the wrong hole of the sheep. English to the core. Beat him with a rular, he'll thank you, and you'll feel better for it. -- Richard J. Sexton richard@panchax.gryphon.com