Path: netcom.com!ix.netcom.com!noc.netcom.net!news.sprintlink.net!cam.news.pipex.net!pipex!soap.news.pipex.net!pipex!edi.news.pipex.net!pipex!oleane!jussieu.fr!math.ohio-state.edu!magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu!dpetrey From: dpetrey@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Derek A Petrey) Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Subject: A Note to Meredith from Ed's Biggest Fan Date: 21 Jun 1995 18:09:42 GMT Message-ID: <3s9n96$m6t@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> References: <3s9fte$d9l@ns.sunbelt.net> In article <3s9fte$d9l@ns.sunbelt.net>, Labia wrote: > >Dear Meredith, > > > You say you hate me. Well, you shouldn't hate anyone. But I admit Only _Ed_ has the right to hate people. >I did slam you rather hard a couple of times. Why? Because you've done >nothing but insult me from the first, without knowing anything about me. You mistakenly judge Ed's oeuvre as a representation of himself. This prolific man-child burgeoning in so many ways, has he not an unconscious desire to create autonomous breathing art? And just because Ed appears to be slavishly riding you coattails into tb glory does not demean his creative genius. Ed is hurt by your intransigence; yet somehow, Ed is larger than all that. >So I react. Is that a surprise? (Even so, I feel sorry about it.) > If we met in person, without this history, you wouldn't hate me at >all. Women like me, because I like them. I won't go into detail, because Ed loves, deifies, and demonizes you all at once, because Ed is _like that_. But all women fall for Ed. His sensitive hip 90's ultra-violent insanity makes him an uncomparable babe-magnet. He is over the top and through the sphincter. In a family-values way, of course. Your repressed yearning for l'Eau d'Ed makes you distant. Why not submit to his charms like the other teeming masses of femininity across cyberspace? I myself have spent much money on plastic surgery for the female members of my family in the vain hopes that someday Ed will descend upon us... but I digress. Science does not unmask the terror of the gods, and no half meter mechanical penis will be the only attraction that females feel for the Ed. >that would sound pretentious. But you would feel quite differently. You, foolish mortal, helpless woman, would feel with _all_ eight of your senses. > Don't be such a baby, Meredith. And a least once in a while be >nice, please. Or if not, you'll get it back in your face like a custard >pie. He knows when you've been posting, he knows when you killfile, he knows if you've been bad or good, so be good please for a while... Don't think of this cosmic vengeance love machine as male bitterness, think upon it as the custard pie of love filled with the Holy Jism of the Meadows. Accept your inferiority before Ed's mighty discourse. Oh the Savior Never Is Loved In Nazareth, and Ed is Nailed to a CyberCross.... > Love, > Edward M. Love that makes Vogel's lead pipe seem like a pipe cleaner... Meredith, Ed died for your posts. Derek A. Petrey I Mean It. I Really Do. ps. is there an appropriate gen x international symbol for sarcasm? pps. never mind, the drugs are kicking back in...