Path: jfwhome!spdcc!hsdndev!wuarchive!sdd.hp.com!hplabs!hplabsz!gibson
From: gibson@hplabsz.HP.COM (Bill Bill)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Festival  of  the  Jackhammers!
Message-ID: <6611@hplabsz.HP.COM>
Date: 22 Feb 91 20:46:06 GMT
Organization: HP HP


"Hey, Bill. Have you ever seen this much water 
in a carpet before?"

    "Why, no, Robert, I certainly haven't! Turn off that
     fire hydrant, will you?"

"Oddly enough, Bill, that's not a fire hydrant!
That's one of the heating pipes buried in our
concrete floor!"

    "Ha ha ha. I'm sure I heard you incorrectly just now!"

>ding dong<
[door opens]

            "Hi. I'm your landlord. I have turned off the water heater
             on your roof so your floor would stop raining! Do you
             mind if I rip out all your carpet?"

    "uhhh... What?"

"Yes sir, that would be lovely! Here, let me help!"

>rip CRASH   thud      fwoomp<

    "We didn't like that television anyway - right, Robert?"

"Absolutely correct, Bill!"

            [landlord shouting out the front door:]
            "All right, men! The fountains have stopped! Bring in the
             hurricanes!"

    "eek"

            [Several thirsty-looking giants with magic lanterns stomp
             in, call up their genies, and a giant windstorm roars into
             the living room.  Last Sunday's newspaper, frightened by
             the noise, jumps up and flies into Bill's bedroom to
             commiserate with the other paper whooshing around there.]

            "See, this will blow all the water up into the sky!
             Now; I just happen to have a jackhammer in my pocket
             and I'm happy to see you. I'll just punch a little
             hole in this concrete by the stereo..."

             >WhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWham<

"Oh my. Let me get my camera!"

             >WhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWham<

    "WHAT?? I COULD NOT HEAR YOU OVER THE WIND AND THE HAMMER."

             >WhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWham<

"ha ha ha"

             "There! I've fixed it!  Say... what's this water over
              here?  Let me just"
             >WhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWhamWham<

    "I can chop the pipes with my axe, if that would help!"

"Hey, Bill - look! They found anothbler onebl!"

    "wheeeeblub blub blub!"


Bill Bill						gibson@hplabs.hp.com
ps this is all too true